Excuse the blogging hiatus, but I think you’ll understand when I tell you, we are adjusting to life with two under two over here; beautiful chaos, as I like to describe it. As I sit here and type this, reflecting on the past 8 weeks of our lives, the best word I can muster up to describe my overall emotion is: overwhelmed.
Overwhelmed with LOVE. I have added a new “love of my life” (3 in total now – I’m a lucky lady), our son, Gavin Michael who recently joined our crew. I call him Mr. Sunshine because he’s the happiest little guy. When you smile at him, he can’t help but smile back — even if he’s crying, you can see his face trying to hold back a smile. I’m smitten.
Overwhelmed with EXHAUSTION. I haven’t slept more than 3 hours straight in 8 weeks and the fact that I’m even able to string together sentences right now is quite the miracle (so please excuse any typos, run-on sentences, etc.). “Napping when the baby naps” only applies to life with one child. Naps for Mom are null and void when you have two in the house. Write that down.
Overwhelmed with GUILT. Oh, the mom guilt is on FIRE while making the transition from one to two kids. My heart sinks every time my daughter asks me to hold her while I’m holding or nursing the baby — poor thing is not used to having to share Mommy. And I feel like the worst Mom in the world when I’m so busy fixing my daughter lunch that I don’t realize right away that my son is covered in spit-up in his bouncer – when did that happen? Trying to split my time and attention between the two of them is the most difficult, heart-wrenching obstacle I’ve experienced in motherhood so far.
Overwhelmed with TO-DO LISTS. Turns out life doesn’t stop moving when you have a new baby. Nope. It just keeps chugging along at miraculous speeds. And laundry piles up, dishes accumulate in the sink, grocery shopping trips lurk just out of reach (maybe we’ll make it there tomorrow), friends and family expect call-backs and updates, and there are just never enough hours in the day. Never. Life in general, is harder.
Overwhelmed with HAPPINESS. Among the chaos, the tears, the temper tantrums, the 3 A.M. feedings and the constant mess, there’s this thick layer of happiness that cushions the “hard”. It’s quite incredible, really, that among all of these struggles — arguably the hardest and most grueling life moments — happiness still permeates through our house. Are we all stressed, tired, adjusting to this new life? Of course! But are we all happy? Yes! And that’s what keeps me going every day, because my heart and soul are full.
So I’ll take the “overwhelmed” feeling and all it brings — the good with the bad. Because in the end, this is our life – the stuff memories are made of — and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.